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  God, she hated flowers. How many times had Noah shown up with an apology, an excuse, and a goddamn bouquet? More times than she cared to remember. It had gotten to the point that the mere smell of lilies or freesia or carnations or, worst of all, roses sent her into a panic. Even now, her heart was still pounding and her mouth was dry.

  She started the car and headed toward George’s. Gram had texted her the address. It was south of town—just a short eight or so minute drive. On the way, she did her meditative breathing, and by the time she arrived, her pulse had returned to normal.

  Kelsey parked behind Gram’s car in the driveway. She stared at the house for a minute. It was a very nice Craftsman style. It was fairly new, and she wondered if he’d had it built. She knew he owned several acres of vineyard, which stretched up a gentle slope behind the house.

  Gram came out onto the front porch and Kelsey stepped out of her car. “Are you coming in or not?” Gram asked, smiling.

  A sense of peace stole over Kelsey. She was so grateful to have her grandmother here. “I’m coming.” She locked the car and went up to the porch, where she hugged Gram tight.

  Gram patted her back. “My goodness. You act as though you haven’t seen me in ages. I just saw you last night.”

  “I know. It’s just… It’s been a rough day.” Between the ex-girlfriend, the obnoxious patron, and the flowers, perhaps rough wasn’t a severe enough word. She backed away and tried to summon a smile but failed.

  Gram put her arm around her shoulders. “Come inside and let’s see if George can’t make you one of his signature margaritas.”

  “He doesn’t have to tend bar on his day off,” Kelsey said as she opened the door.

  Gram chuckled. “Just try and stop him.”

  Gram closed the door behind them as Kelsey took in the entry, which led to a massive great room. Tall windows on the opposite wall climbed probably twenty feet, nearly to the ceiling. The view of the vineyard was expansive—and breathtaking.

  “George, your home is beautiful.” It was, in fact, very tastefully appointed and looked like it belonged in a magazine spread.

  “Isn’t it?” Gram said. “He hired a decorator. Can you believe that?”

  George laughed as he came from the left, where a massive island separated the kitchen from the great room. “I spent my entire life in the military. What the hell did I know about decorating a house?” He grinned at Kelsey. “What can I get you to drink?”

  “I think she needs a margarita,” Gram said. “She’s had a bad day.”

  George’s brow furrowed. “That’s no good. Come on in and sit down at the bar. I’ll whip up something tasty.” He winked at her and went into the large gourmet kitchen.

  Kelsey looked around in disbelief as she made her way to one of the cushy leather barstools. “George, I still can’t believe you live here, like this. I never would’ve guessed this place belonged to a retired marine.”

  “I think that’s exactly what Ruby said.” He looked at Gram. “You want a margarita too, sweetheart?”

  Sweetheart? Kelsey perked up. She knew they were spending a lot of time together but wasn’t sure how serious their relationship had gotten. She should’ve paid closer attention at the wine dinner last night. Except she’d been too wrapped up in Luke.

  And there went her mood again.

  George poured three margaritas. “I don’t blend ’em here at Casa Wilson. I can’t remember which you prefer, Kelsey.”

  “I don’t have a preference. On the rocks is fine by me.”

  “Excellent.” He finished and handed one to Kelsey and then one to Gram, who’d sat down beside her. Then he picked up the third and offered a toast. “To getting to spend an evening with two of the most beautiful women in the world. I’m a lucky old bastard.” There was a twinkle in his eye as he sipped his margarita.

  Kelsey took a long drink and set the glass back on the granite countertop. “George, you make a mean margarita.”

  “Thank you, and it’s my pleasure. Now tell us about your lousy day.”

  Oh man, did she really want to? She didn’t see a way to avoid it, so she told them about the jerk at the library.

  George shook his head. “I run into guys like that around here from time to time. Like you, I have no trouble setting them straight. Well done, Kelsey, I’d say your family did a good job raising you.” He tossed a warm smile at Gram.

  Kelsey preferred to steer the topic away from herself. “So, it, uh, looks like you two are pretty cozy. Do you need a chaperone?”

  Gram and George laughed, and Kelsey smiled as she took another sip of her drink.

  “I think we’re a little past chaperones, dear,” Gram said. “But yes, I think cozy is a nice description. Rather like you and Luke.” She arched her brows at Kelsey as her lips curved up. “Except you’ve done us one better since you’re living together. I hope you’re not rushing into anything. Especially after what you went through with Noah.”

  So much for trying to deflect the conversation away from her. Kelsey glanced at George to see his reaction. How much had Gram told him about Noah?

  “Rest easy, Kelsey. Your secrets are safe with me. I’m a professional—used to work for the CIA.”

  Kelsey’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?”

  George nodded. “I’d rather you kept that to yourself. It’s not something I advertise. For perhaps obvious reasons.”

  Kelsey could think of several, first and foremost being his safety—and the safety of those around him. “Do I need to worry about Gram being with you?”

  He chuckled again, a low, warm sound. “Nah. That was a long time ago now. I’m an old bartender. Nobody cares about me.”

  Gram gave him a loving—yes, loving—look. “I care.”

  “I know.” He blew her a kiss.

  Kelsey took another drink of her margarita and marveled at how adorable they were and how thrilled she was to see Gram so happy. She was also quite pleased that the conversation had turned again.

  But that was short-lived.

  “Back to you and Luke,” Gram said, turning toward Kelsey on the stool. “Are you taking things slow?”

  She considered answering yes and just leaving it at that. However, she’d realized after Gram had come to town that she didn’t like being alone. Noah had isolated her from family and friends, and it had taken her far too long to realize that she missed having people in her life.

  “Sort of,” she said softly. “I like him a lot. But I’m… I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship.”

  Gram clasped her hand over Kelsey’s on the counter. “I think it’s good that you’re cautious.”

  “I don’t know,” George said, drawing both Kelsey and Gram to look at him. “If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that life is short. It took me over six decades to realize I wanted someone in my life. I never wanted to worry about someone else. I couldn’t, really, not in my profession.”

  It made sense to Kelsey that he wouldn’t want to have relationships. But it wasn’t the same as her situation. She’d been abused. “I think it’s kind of apples and oranges, but I get what you’re saying about not having regrets.” She had plenty of them. And they were in the way of allowing someone else into her life.

  “Sure, it’s a bit different, but maybe not in the way you think.” He leaned forward and set his elbows on the counter. “I was always kind of a loner—too smart for my own britches. Military life suited me, and the intelligence work was an even better fit.”

  “Wasn’t it lonely?” Kelsey asked.

  “I didn’t think so. Not until I decided to leave. Then I began to realize just how isolated I really was. The problem was, though, by then I was too far gone. I didn’t know how to open up. I got back to the real world, and I didn’t have a clue. Thankfully, I met Rob Archer. He sort of insisted we become friends.” He laughed again, that low, rumbly, feel-good chuckle. “Rob’s a great man. I owe him a lot. Without him, I probably wouldn’t have gained enough courage—or s
ocial skills—to ask your lovely grandma out.”

  Kelsey could feel the warmth between them, and it gave her hope. For what, she wasn’t sure. She just wanted to feel that someday. “Well, that seems to be paying off for you.”

  “On one of my assignments, I came into contact with a lot of women who’d been abused. They had one thing in common—they didn’t trust themselves anymore. Sure, they didn’t have much trust in other people either, but the fundamental thing they had to learn was how to forgive themselves and accept that none of it was their fault.” He frowned. “It’s a tough thing.”

  Kelsey’s throat knotted, and she knew from experience that she was a heartbeat away from an avalanche of tears. He’d drilled right into the heart of things. She only nodded.

  Gram moved her hand to Kelsey’s back, stroking her. “It’s all right,” she murmured. Then she looked to George. “You don’t have to make the poor girl cry.”

  This made Kelsey laugh, for which she was grateful. “I’m okay. George, you’re an insightful man.”

  “Well, all I’ll say to you—like you even want my advice, but you’re getting it anyway—is that Luke is a terrific guy. I don’t know the jackass who was in your life before, and I hope I never do.” His eyes glinted steel. “He’d better hope that too. Anyhow, you can’t do much better than Luke Westcott. His family is solid, he has a great work ethic, and he’s someone I trust.”

  Kelsey recalled the hurt look in his eyes when she’d told him to burn his flowers. He couldn’t possibly know what they meant to her. How they’d upset her. He was just trying to make amends, and for something that wasn’t even his fault. So what if his ex showed up that morning? Had that really been the issue, or was it just that Kelsey didn’t trust herself not to make another mistake?

  She was pretty sure she knew the answer. She had made a mistake, but hopefully it was fixable.

  She lifted her glass now in a toast of her own. “To unsolicited, awesome advice.”

  George clinked his glass against hers, and Gram joined in. They all took a drink.

  “All righty, then,” George said, rubbing his hands together, “who’s hungry for some steak?”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Luke gave up trying to finish his dinner. His folks had invited him over, but he’d declined. He was even more upset—and bewildered—about Kelsey than he’d been earlier in the day.

  Her refusal of his flowers had stung. She hadn’t just declined them, she’d done the verbal equivalent of throwing them in his face. He hadn’t thought Paige showing up would be that damaging to their fledgling relationship, but then he wasn’t sure what to expect. Kelsey had tried to put on the brakes. She’d been honest about being hesitant. Maybe she just wasn’t ready.

  Which sucked, because he was. If Paige dropping in had showed him anything, it was that Kelsey was different. Special.

  He set his dishes in the sink, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and went to the living room to watch football highlights. He’d just turned on Sports Center when headlights flashed through the window as a car pulled into the driveway.

  He set his beer on the coffee table and stood up. He walked over and peered through the blinds. It was Kelsey.

  Anticipation thrummed in his chest. He’d hoped she would show up. Was she here to stay, or had she come to pick up her things? He’d find out in a minute.

  He went back to the couch and sat down. He sipped his beer and tried to focus on the television. The lock on the front door clicked, and he tensed. He turned his head toward the door as she came inside.

  She looked the same as earlier—her hair hanging loose and gorgeous, a light cranberry-colored jacket thrown over her long-sleeved V-neck tee and distressed jeans, and those sexy dark brown booties. Why they were sexy, he didn’t know. Maybe he just felt that way about everything to do with her.

  “Hey.” She walked around the couch and moved into the living room.

  He muted the sound on the TV. “Hey.”

  She dropped her purse on the chair. “Mind if I sit with you?”

  He sat in the middle of the couch, rather taking up the entire thing, so he scooted to the right. “Sure. I mean, I don’t mind.”

  Her lips curved into a weak smile. “I knew what you meant.” She sat down, but on the edge of the couch. She clasped her hands together and rested them on her knees. “I wanted to explain about earlier. About the flowers.”

  He turned the TV off and tossed the remote onto the table. Then he angled himself toward her, bringing his knee up onto the couch. “Okay.”

  “First, I want to apologize. You couldn’t know this, but I have a problem with flowers. As in, I hate them. Please don’t ever give me a bouquet again.”

  There was a vehemence and darkness to her tone that set off warning bells in his head. “Got it.” He wanted to ask why but sensed she was about to tell him.

  She took a deep breath. The muscles in her jaw clenched. “Noah used to bring me flowers. After he hit me.”

  Oh, fuck. Luke’s insides crumpled. He moved closer to her, but she held up her hand and shook her head. “Let me get this out.”

  She took a deep breath, and he heard it catch, sounding like a shudder. He ached to touch her, but kept his hands to himself.

  “I haven’t really told you about him. Not because I want to hide anything, but because it’s…difficult. We met in college, and honestly, for me, it was love at first sight, as corny as that sounds. He wasn’t abusive in the beginning.” Her expression softened, and Luke could see she was recalling happier times. He tried not to feel a stab of jealousy.

  She went on. “I have a lot of good memories.” Her lips curved into a sad smile. “How else could I have stayed with him so long? At least, that’s what I tell myself.” She looked down at her lap. “It takes the sting from my shame.”

  Emotion rushed through him—anger, frustration, concern, and anguish. He gently touched her chin and tipped her head up. “Hey, there’s no need to feel ashamed. I’m sure I have a lot to learn about abuse, but what I do know is that it wasn’t your fault. Not even staying with him for however long you did.” He cupped the side of her face.

  She nuzzled her cheek against him. “Thank you. You’re right, and my brain knows that, but my heart, my soul…sometimes they forget.”

  “I’m glad you told me a little about him.” He wanted to know more but was also a bit afraid. Luke already hated this man for everything he did know, for the pain he’d caused Kelsey. “And I will listen to whatever you want to share—now or in the future.”

  Her gaze glowed with appreciation. “I don’t talk about him much. It’s not just that I don’t like to think of him—which I don’t—or the shame factor. It’s also the headspace. I spent a long time trying to dissect how I’d been so stupid and how I could’ve done things differently.” Her eyes darkened before she tipped her head down. “I wondered why I let him do that to me, why I didn’t retaliate. I thought of all the ways I should’ve hurt him in return.”

  He grew agitated listening to the agony in her tone. He started thinking of all the ways he’d like to hurt the bastard. “It’s normal to want that. I want that. Well, not for you to hurt him,” he clarified. “Honestly, I’d like a shot at him. A man that would hit a woman deserves to suffer.”

  Her head came up, her eyes wide. “He is suffering, I hope. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t deserve to take up any part of my life. I gave him far too much.”

  He saw the grit and determination in her gaze, in the tense set of her mouth. “I have such immense respect for you,” he said softly. “To think that you’ve worked through this and come out stronger on the other side.”

  She let out a light laugh and straightened, causing him to drop his hand from her face. “I’m working on it. I still have issues. As you saw earlier.”

  “We all have issues, don’t we?”

  “I guess. What are yours? Just reappearing exes?”

  His issues. Yeah, those. “Reappearing exes whose
hearts I’ve broken, apparently.” He stretched his folded leg out and put both feet on the floor.

  It was her turn to bend her knee and turn toward him, resting her elbow on the back of the couch. “You didn’t realize that?”

  “Not to the level that she said this morning.” He sent her a wry glance. “She’s still hung up on me.”

  “I could see that.”

  He smiled at the irony in her tone. “I admit I was a bit blind to…things. It took me a while to realize she was more into the relationship than I was. Moving back here gave me the distance I needed to break things off. Shit, that sounds so cowardly.” He turned his head to look at her. “In my defense, I didn’t see it. Like I said, I was a blind asshole.”

  “I don’t think you meant to be an asshole. Or to hurt her. That’s not the Luke I’ve come to know.” She stared at him a moment. “Unless you’ve been hiding who you really are, in which case I’d have to leave. I can’t do that again. I need to know who I’m with.”

  That socked him right in the gut. She’d been with someone who’d had some whole other side to him. He owed her the truth. Right now.

  He turned toward her again, mirroring her position, complete with his elbow on the back of the couch. “I care about you a lot, Kelsey. More than I’ve cared for anyone. That said, I’m maybe a bit more than an introvert. Some might even call me a loner. I like my space. I honestly don’t know how good I’ll be at a long-term, serious relationship. Paige was the first one I’d tried, and it didn’t go well. There’s nothing I’d hate more than hurting you.”

  Her gaze was guarded. “What are you saying? Do you want to stop seeing each other?”

  Hell, he was botching this. He took her hands in his. “No, definitely not. I just wanted you to know about my…issues.”

  Her eyes widened briefly, and her brows arched. “Oh, right. Issues. I did ask.”

  “Yes, but I was going to tell you anyway. You deserve total honesty.”